ayawan na...

Two Fridays ago, (the one before Holy Week), sinubukan ko mag-gym prior to shift. 4pm ak nag-start, 6pm na ako natapos. And dahil Friday night, syemps, naunahan ako ng mga yuppie at teenage brats sa mga ka-taxihan. Kailangan pa tuloy ako sumakay ng jeep na byaheng Pasay Road pa-Libertad para lang makapag-cab from there to Macapagal Blvd, sinc my shift starts 8pm.

So pagod ako from workout, then sa stress sa locker room (stressed ako kapag maraming tao or jampacked yung locker room, tapos nakaka-intimidate pa kasi mas magaganda 'yung katawan nila sa akin, ang sarap magkulong na lang sa steam room hanggang matunaw!), pagod sa byahe, tapos pagsakay ko ng taxi, ang driver naka-tune in sa Love Notes.

For one thing, hindi ko alam kung sino kina Say at Uma 'yung nanlait kay Joe D' Mango, but I personally think this guy's great. And a veteran na rin when it comes to love advices. Pero hindi siya ang point ng blog post na ito. 'Yung kwento kasi ng letter sender is about a forbidden love she just can't let go. The more na bawal, the more na unfair sa part niya ang situation (the guy still loves her girlfriend kahit sila pa rin nung letter sender, gets?), the more na mahal niya pa rin 'yung guy. And maganda 'yung advice ni Joe na you have to respect yourself naman, find a man (or in my case, a woman *hindi girl ha*) who would love and respect you completely, hindi 'yung iti-take ka for granted because he/she knows you love him/her. Gets?

What stuck me is what Joe played for the letter sender. Grabe, first time kong narinig 'yung kantang 'to, and prmoise, ang bigat ng kanta. Swear.

THE ART OF LETTING GO
Mikaila

Put away the pictures.
Put away the memories.
I put over and over
Through my tears
I've held them till I'm blind
They kept my hope alive
As if somehow that I'd keep you here
Once you believed in a love forever more?
How do you leave it in a drawer?

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

Try to say it's over
Say the word goodbye.
But each time it catches in my throat
Your still here in me
And I can't set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Maybe someday we'll be friend's forever more
Wish I could open up that door

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go

Watching us fade
What can I do?
But try to make it through the pain of one more day
Without you

Where do I start, to live my life alone?
I guess I'm learning, only learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

That whole Friday shift, sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko, sobrang down ng energy level ko. I mean, I've never been in a situation na kailangang mag-let go in a relationship. Pero many times, many many times, I experienced letting go of someone who was never mine to begin with. Gets? 'Yung feeling na you're hoping na someday pwedeng maging kayong dalawa, pero because of the complications in life we call "Reality" e kahit 'yung only hope na 'yun that's the only thing you have e kailangan mo na ring isuko, just for you to get back to your senses and start regaining what you have lost because of it. Ang labo 'no. Swear, mahirap kimkimin lang ang nararamdaman mo towards that person, pero what can I do?

Oh my... I hate this. Ewan ko bakit ang senti ko bigla. Shit. Pasensya ha, puyat lang. Never thought na pwede akong maging seryoso kapag puyat ako.

That song still brings back the same frustrating feeling. Sobrang bigat talaga.

Well... on a lighter note... sweldo ko ngayon. Woohoo!!!